Camp Itchy Crotch

Things are frothy Down Under. Part of my "chemo cocktail" is steroids. It's a mixed blessing, because the steroids definitely help with pain management, and my energy level, but they have lots of side effects, including my big fat moonface, and diabetes. Yes, the steroid bone is connected to the diabetes bone, and the diabetes bone, I believe, is connected to the yeast infection bone. Welcome to Camp Itchy Crotch.

Every drug has side effects. Some, like steroids, have a lot of side effects. But if you need the drug, you just have to keep treating the side effects. This one, as you might imagine, I’m quite unhappy about, but I don’t get a choice.

I’m going to make lemonade, euphemistically speaking. I'm a Bad Poet, a compulsive writer of Bad Poetry, and president of the Bad Poets' Society for 3 years running. So I’ve amused myself writing the anthem for the camp.

Imagine a full moon overhead, shining on gently rolling hills, and the scent of pine trees in the air.

The Girls of Camp Itchy Crotch

The Girls of Camp Itchy Crotch are here to say
We’re honest, brave and true, and so we’ll stay
Though misery loves company, both night and day
Our hitch is just a tube of Monistat away

It’s been fun, it’s been swell,
but I’m glad that I’m now well
Tally Ho, off I go, hope we meet again soon...
Not in the hills, ‘neath the pines, and the Itchy Crotch moon.

(Okay, it’s awful, I admit it. But it amused me. And you’ll be humming it tomorrow.)