Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Stupid 4-Evarrr

I started looking for more funny tattoo sites. Just google “bad tattoos,” “awful tattoos,” “misspelled tattoos” and there are thousands of sites. Sub-genres such as “Worst Celebrity Tattoos” and “Bad Animal Tattoos.” Many, many thousands. And at this point, probably millions of bad tattoos.

Bad Tattoos
Horrible Tattoos
Awful Tattoos - oh, yes they are
My Tattoo Sucks - borderline illiterate site; some porn-ish, scary, awful tatts
Ugly Freaking Tattoo Gallery
No Regrets - Worst Tattoos

It began to seem more tragic than funny. Some of it my aversion be generational: “In my day” only carnie rats had tattoos. To me, they symbolize a lack of class, and I still find it strange anyone would want to broadcast their tackiness and bad taste. Some of my aversion to tattoos may be cultural: you won’t find many Jews who have a positive association with them.

I also believe that tattoos indicate poor decision-making and a lack of impulse control. Remember what you thought was really cool at age 13? Was the same thing cool at 15? No, chances are you were mortified that you ever liked that band, wore that outfit, sported that hairstyle. So why would you believe that a massively cool tattoo you get at age 18 or 19 is still going to seem like a good idea five or ten years later?

There are medical issues, too. Aside from the risks of infection and liver disease, tattoos an make it difficult (or even impossible) to read certain kinds of scans like MRIs because the inks have microscopic metals in them.

Finally, skin is sexy. Why would you want to cover that up? I’m particularly horrified at young women getting tattoos across their necks, chests, upper arms and backs. If you want a small tattoo, maybe to commemmorate a landmark event, it’s so much more chic and sexy to get something that doesn’t show in “everyday” clothes. And if you ever change your mind about its fabulousness, you won’t be displaying it 24/7. You should also be stone-cold sober, go to a licensed parlor, and ask the artist if s/he has ever been sued. You could still end up with hepatitis and a pitiful reminder of your poor impulse control.

I apologize for losing the link, but found this succinct comment at one of the bad tatt sites:

Someone who develops a reasonably effective way to remove tattoos is going to make a lot of money. I'm stunned by the number of young people who are basically turning themselves into circus freaks with large, vulgar, and extremely ugly tattoos. Here in Portland Oregon, it's a plague. Tattoos are being treated as a fashion fad, but after the fad fades, the tattoos will remain.
I've gotten a lot of flack in the local alt media by suggesting that people who want to have their faces tattooed be told that they must have a waiting period of 72 hours -AND- put funds into a escrow account for three years that will cover the cost of a professional tattoo-removal procedure. A few years ago I saw a young man (white, of course, minorities are rarely this crazy) who had a bloody dagger tattooed to the side of his face. Sure it's 'cool' for a few weeks when you're 20 and hanging out in a 'punk' crowd. But what about when you're 30, 40, or 50? You aren't going to be able to get any kind of a real job, ever. You might at best be a roadie or warehouse loader. Forget about ever having a life.
Nearly all tattoos are ugly and stupid. They destroy the natural beauty and symmetry of skin tone. The fact that they have become temporarily popular is simply a nightmare.
Finally, one last consideration if nothing else has dissuaded you. At the very least, gravity will get you, too, my pretty. Your little rosebud will become a wilted long-stem.


Kathy from NJ said...

When my favorite oldest and favorite 2nd oldest nephews were teen-agers my sister told them that they COULD get earrings and they WOULD HAVE TO pay for their own doctor visits when their ear lobes became infected. They are now 30 & 34 - neither ever got any piercings. One works in pharmaceuticals and the other is a pilot - he flies the C-5 for the Air National Guard and in his non-military life is an airline captain flying poor people around. Neither job will tolerate facial hair, most jewelry and tattoos.

Kathy from NJ said...

Also - Kelly Ripa has a tattoo on her ankle. She deeply regret the decision.

OtterX said...

Uh oh, LaCoot--Thems is fighting words! I got my tattoo 15 years ago and don't regret a thing. I had wanted one when I was still in gradeschool in the 80s. Adam Ant had one, therefore I wanted one. Although I got something different than I originally wanted, I think I would have liked the dagger thru the heart tattoo as much as I currently like my celestial one.

Maybe I don't have regrets because I gave it a lot of thought, was 23 at the time, put it on my shoulder where I assumed it wouldn't stretch too much ever, and it reminds me of some really fun times I had during that year!

And I believe I will love the one I really want to get this year because I've put a lot of thought into it, am 38 and I hope even more wise, I didn't stretch too much, and I have some recent experiences (the good and the difficult) I'd love to commemorate with the art of tattoo!

La Cootina said...

OtterX, I'm glad to hear you did give it serious thought and I'm sure that's why you don't regret it. Too many kids are getting big, horrible, ugly tattoos without any thought to how they might feel, how they might live, what kind of job they might want, in a decade or two.

tim's wife said...

Got the pin and stuff today.
Thank you! I totally agree with you on the tat issue. I've never felt so strongly about a flower
or looney tune character as to have it permanently emblazened on my body and I tell everyone thinking of it that they will not always feel the same way about their big tat idea. I saw an older woman at a pool in Cape May a few years ago who had several tats. I don't care how mainstream they have become, she looked like an
old biker chick(nothing against bikers or chicks) and the tats looked horrible on her.