CTCOA?

"The doctor came in the room and said, ‘You have cancer and you're gonna DIE!’ And he kicked me in the shins and called me fatso!"

Come on. I thought I had a pretty grim diagnosis experience. This is a slight exaggeration, but these commercials for Cancer Treatment Centers of America are so ridiculous, I think this must be a vicious, for-profit corporation that preys on peoples' fears and anxieties, rather than state their success rate statistics.

"Then he hit me in the face with a 2x4, and stole my wallet."