A Trip to the Farmer's Market

Dear Inconsiderate,
The stall owner is there to make money, not to be your new BFF. If you find it absolutely necessary to have a 20-minute conversation about how to take care of your organic mushrooms, please step aside occasionally so the stall owner can actually wait on customers and make a few bucks.

Dear Thoughtless,
Hiring a babysitter for a couple of hours is not child abuse. Making your three- or four-year old walk for 20 minutes is not child abuse. Bringing a stroller the size of a space shuttle to our tiny, overcrowded farmer's market is thoughtless and inconsiderate.

Dear Piggy,
I'm sure there are many good reasons why you drive a Suburban/Expedition/Denali. They will make wonderful bedtime stories in the homeless shelter. In the meantime, please do not drive that monstrosity in the tiny parking lot of our tiny farmer's market. All you do is increase the traffic jam exponentially. Just park on the street and {{{shudder!}}} walk a half-block.

Signed,
The Coot

Dear Coot,
Everyone else is enjoying a very leisurely amble through the market. If everything and everyone is going to piss you off, please do us all a favor and just stay home.

Signed,
The Coot