Monday, June 15, 2009

La Puncturtorium

La Cootina est mui ouchy! We soared past the old record and set the bar today at 7 sticks in a single visit. Nurse A failed twice for the blood draw, and passed me to Nurse C. Luck was on his side: he found a gusher on the first stick and filled two tubes without incident.

When the labs returned, I went back to the infusatorium and learned that Nurse S, one of my favorites, was having a "bad stick day." "I can't hit the broad side of a barn today," she lamented, and then proved it again, failing twice to find a juicy vein. "Let's get Nurse M," she said. "She's golden today." Well... not completely. Nurse M also missed once, and it was a wretchedly uncomfortable stick on the inside of my forearm, just above my wrist. Finally, with much trepidation and anxiety, they found a spot on the outside of my forearm that was (barely) acceptable and after some unpleasant to-ing and fro-ing, decided it was good enough for the IV hook-up. Well, lordy, we just about ALL threw a party at that point. Thank goodness I'm not a needle-phobe!

They all said that this is not uncommon, especially for someone who has been on steroids for a long time. But they all felt so badly for me, and of course I felt badly for them: a double helix, a vortex of empathy and misery. I'm really going to try to drink gallons of water before my next visit. None of us wants a replay of today.


susan said...

Why don't you just carry a cane with you and then you can bean these morons on their little bitty stupid non-empathetic noggins. You'll feel so much better!

La Cootina said...

No, the problem was my rotten veins, not the nurses. Today, my arms are such a horror, I'd look like a junkie if I was skinny. So maybe it's a good thing the steroids have made me blow up like a Macy's parade balloon. Heh, talk about your silver linings...