Saturday, April 10, 2010

So Long, Fare Well

Dear Friends,

Having enrolled with hospice this week has changed my perspective. I've been thinking about signing off the blog for quite awhile, and this feels like the right time. I can't believe it finally happened...but I really don't have much more to say! Oh, I'll miss ranting over major and minor annoyances, but you deserve better. My readers -- family, friends, and friends I haven't met -- have kept me going for more than two years. I never expected to be here this long, and I certainly never expected to find such a warm, caring community, especially in MM patients and caregivers.

Technology continues to amaze me: this little white box on my table, this seemingly inert piece of electronics, has connected me to an entire network of smart, kind, thoughtful people. Your good wishes and support have meant more to me than I could have imagined. I will leave the blog up for awhile, on the chance that there's anything helpful here for newly diagnosed MM patients. I will continue to read and occasionally comment on your blogs. But out of concern and respect for other MM patients and their loved ones, I'm going on the next leg of this MM journey on my own.

I have been touched and privileged to share my story and get to know you. I wish all of you great joy, peace, and most of all, good health. Fill your hearts with gratitude and forgiveness until there is no room for anything else. Be good to yourselves and each other.

The Coot

P.S. Now that he's had a taste of Guest Blogging, Bro 1 -- one of the two best brothers on the planet -- may occasionally pop in.


John said...

I am stunned and saddened by your announcement that hospice has come into your home. We bloggers comfort ourselves with the pollyanish blanket of positive MM trials. The reality, though, is that this disease is unrelenting.

I find so much to like about your writing. You cut through the crap and get to the heart of things with humor and biting sarcasm. Your blog provides me much joy, insight, and belly laughs. I will miss your posts.

Sean Murray said...

Coot: Your blog has been very meaningful to me. You've given us more than we deserve, much more! And because YOU said so, it's been good enough for me. Peace and Godspeed to you and those close to you. Sean M.

Anonymous said...

I will miss reading your blog. My best to you and wish you peace with what comes next


Sandy said...

Ah, Miss Coot - I will miss you. I have learned much about living from you and you will leave a gap in my blog life. May the angels carry you easily and gently through the door we must all go through one day. Blessings and White Light surround you as you prepare for this journey. Know that you will be in my thoughts/prayers . . .

tim's wife said...

Oh Nancy,
I don't know what to say 'cept I will miss you and your blogging and you are definitely "my kind of people", girl. Though many of us may rant, nobody does it with your level of humor and wit. You have left your mark on many hearts in this realm, including mine. Peace to you, my friend.

Kathy from NJ said...

Your blog has been one of my favorites, I love the way you write. I hope your nieces, brothers and sister all have printed copies. There is such wonderful family history there for them. I wish you the best.

Dawn said...

My much beloved friend Peggy, who traveled a similar journey, will be waiting with a hug, a giggle and perhaps a plate of chocolate chip cookies. In the profoundest sense of the words thank you and peace (to you and all those you have touched).

mar said...

This is such sad news, especially on a Monday. I will miss in your writing your humor and look on life. You've inspired me. Thank you.

I wish you peace. May whatever time you have be filled with love and laughter. I will think of you often forever.

Margaret said...

As I was reading through your post, I kept repeating (expletive deleted, expletive deleted). Like John, I am stunned and saddened...I didn't think it would be this fast (hey, you weren't kidding!). Like John, I will miss your posts...
Please leave comments on my posts now and again, will ya? I just published a post of our Easter trip to Rome, with photos. I know how much you wanted to come to Italy...reading a post is not the same thing, but hey, my photos are pretty decent...
You take good care of yourself, and drop me a note if you feel like it,
your pal in Florence, Italy

StephB said...

I'm not quite sure what to say here. I've enjoyed reading your blog and learning more about a dear friend through your writing. I was always hooked on your writing wit since we created those wine labels for Lynn's house project :) I'm so glad to know you as a friend -- spending time with you and the rest of the Stir Crazy foodies made Indy one of my favorite cities to live ever. I'm thinking of you lots and hope they take only the best care of you. You are a very special and lovely friend - one I will always look up to for all that you have done and the loving family and community of friends you nurtured. Lots of love to you!

Michelle@Gotchababy said...

I will say ditto to what Steph said. Have you really been blogging for only two years? You're a natural...I always knew you would be. I do hope that you get this blog printed into hard copy--what a gift for for family to have. I have LOVED all of the old photos you've shared. Know that love and prayers are being sent from across town. The kids have been taking turns on "the pink stuff" all winter long, so I am one walking incubator of germs. But my friend, know you are loved.

Beth said...

Dear Nancy,

I've loved reading your blog. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I even signed up for a writing class, pointing to your work, saying, "I want to be able to write like this!"

I hope you know that if there's anything I can do to make your journey any easier, all you have to do is ask.

I'll be thinking about you and your family.


Beth said...

If you want to turn the blog into a book, there's a program called Blurb that can import your blog material for publishing.

I hope you will!

feresaknit said...

I've read your blog but never commented before. Our thoughts are with you and yours. Warm wishes and hugs.

Susie Hemingway said...

I am saddened to read this post, I have so enjoyed your writing and your great humour but with knowledge now that you will gain strength with some good deserved care.
I send my love and my best prayers, bless you.
You are indeed a very amazing lady X

L.P. Cells said...

I hope my dear friend Ken and you connect up. He is in palliative care in Rochester (NY) struggling with MM. I truly enjoy your pleasant humor that shines even in the darkest storms. May honesty, empathy and inquiry guide your travels.

Karen said...

I will miss you and your blog so, so much.

Karen said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Brother Ted said...

Thank you!

Anonymous said...

I've not seen your blog before but I've read your posts on Margaret's site and she emailed to say you had gone into a hospice. I am very sorry to hear that because I didn't realise that you were so ill. Anyway, this is just a note to wish you well. If anyone has the courage to come through this you do. I once wrote to an American lady living in Australia who had been in a hospice many years before. She had pulled through and so can you.
Best wishes,
Paul K

Lorna A. said...

I'm new to this mad mad myeloma world and never had the chance to really get to know you. So for now I will leave you with an old Irish blessing.

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Anonymous said...

Margaret sent me to your blog. I too am from the I state and wonder where you are. I hope you don't mind that I adopted two sentences from your Farewell to use in my e-mail signature. I am writing from U of I hospital where my spouse is recovering from his second surgery, this one to replace broken (!!) rods and add support from the front. So technically 3 surgeries, two in one this time. He is doing well. The MM presented as a plasmacytoma in L-5 vertebra.

Thank you for sharing yourself and your journey.
I wish you peace, but I think you already have that.

-Julie (from Vinton)

I wish all of you great joy, peace, and most of all, good health. Fill your hearts with gratitude and forgiveness until there is no room for anything else.
~ La Cootina

Anonymous said...

Hi Nancy,
You don't know me and I don't know you...but I wish I did! There are so many wonderful comments left here by your friends. You must be a really special person to have so many friends! I would like to add my well wishes to the many others. I will ask a special prayer of peace and comfort in your behalf. I truly believe that our Heavenly Father knows you and your needs and desires at this special time. As I say farewell, I'm reminded of some words of wisdom that I heard many years ago. You may have heard them as well. They are as follows:

Time is too slow for those who wait,
Too swift for those who fear,
Too long for those who grieve,
Too short for those who rejoice,
But for those who love,
Time is eternity!

Sincerely, Donna S.

Susan said...

I love you, Nancy, Ol' Buddy, Ol' Pal... you have been part of my life for many many years; my one wish was that we could have lived in the same state. [I can hear you now: "Yeah, State of Confusion!"]
And because you have been more in my heart, than in actual daily life: you will just continue to ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART. no matter what.

Cheryl said...

Well Nanc you did something that hasn't happened in a long time. You got the Ladies Night Out group back to at least e-mailing. The topic has been you of course and a lot of shuddas. A lot of wondering how we could have let so much time go by without keeping in touch with such a wonderful person as you. All the comments from people who you never met but were touched by you and yet we had you and let you slip through our fingers. Well girlfriend we WILL be having a drink in your honor...and there will be a seat for you. Please join us.

Ilene Smith said...

I'm so sad to see your latest post. Though I read them infrequently, your blogs were always insightful and true, creative and hilarious. Absolutely love the stories! You shared a wonderful history about your family, especially for all your SGs.

Even though I've watched so many others follow your path, I still wish to believe in all things good. Know that a piece of you will stay with each person you knew. I wish you peace and comfort.

Nancy said...

I have loved your writing, your wit, your family reminiscences and especially your calling things as they are. Thank you for your remarkable insight. Peace to you.

Karen said...

I don't know you, but from your writings (which I discovered only recently) I feel as if I do. From all the comments here I can see that you have given many, many people hours of joy and comfort. I pray that you may be comforted by this. I wish you and your family all the best.

Unknown said...

LaCoot--As I have written a dozen times to you: Thank you for sharing yourself. My heart will be filled with gratitude and forgiveness, and a very special place for you. Shine on!

Sid said...

La Coot,
Thank you for giving me myeloma fun, pleasure, laughter and tears. Your blog was always a must read.
Rest your weary bones Nancy.