Recurring Fantasy

"HI! THIS IS BILLY MAYS FOR OXY-CLEAN -- "
{Arrow right in the heart!}

"HI! THIS IS BILLY MAYS FOR OXY -- "
{Hit by a bus!}

"HI! THIS IS BILLY MAYS FOR -- "
{Rat-a-tat! Good old-fashioned machine gun!}

"HI! THIS IS BILLY MAYS -- "
{Ninja Stars RIP through his jugular!}

"HI! THIS IS BILLY -- "
{Flesh-eating virus reaches his vocal chords!}

"HI! THIS IS -- "
{Knocked down by a pack of hyenas!}

"HI! "
{{{{{{MUSHROOM CLOUD!}}}}}}

I think I used to be a pacifist. Now, I can’t even settle for him going away; I need to know he’s not coming back.