Friday, June 26, 2009

It IS the heat...

We're on our fourth or fifth day of 90º+ temperatures and 90%+ humidity. It's like living in a sauna. Years ago during a similar heat wave, I ventured out to a bookstore. The woman ahead of me at the cashier was a big-haired gal with a voice that dripped peach nectar. She was dismissive about the weather: "Oh, where ah'm from, this idn't nothin'."
I couldn't resist asking, "Where are you from, hell?"
"Close," she turned to smile at me, "Dallas."

I think my internal thermostat broke about ten years ago when Sis & I went to Europe. They were having what was then a record-setting heat wave. (Those records were broken a few years later.) Three factors made it extremely challenging to actually enjoy the trip. 1) Almost nothing in Paris and London is air-conditioned. 2) They definitely have a different standard of personal hygiene. And the killer, 3) Even in Europe, Sis and I are both pretty much at armpit-level to the world. I never did so much mouth-breathing in my life.

Ever since then, I just can't bear to be hot. I know it's traditional to retire to warm places: Phoenix, Miami, Palm Springs. But if I make it to retirement age, I'm more likely to head for Maine or Montana.

I'm probably going to have a cow, man, when I get my next electric bill, but until then, the AC is set on Arctic and all fans are on.

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