Brilliant-with-a-B?

I can't remember where I first heard this idea (Chemo Brain! Chemo Brain!),maybe the girls on The View? or maybe I just dreamed it, but I think it's brilliant: Instead of the $700 Billion-with-a-B Bailout for the fatcat Titans of Industry, let's try this: There are just about 300 million Americans, so let's give every American one million dollars. We'll figure out the logistics later.

Here's the reasoning: if you get that money in the hands of consumers, we will pay off our mortgages and car loans, and that should help out the banks. We will buy new cars and lots of consumer goods, and that will help out both retail and manufacturing. We will probably buy some new homes and second homes; that should rescue the housing market. We may even put some into savings! That might ease some of the burden on Social Security. And we won't be adding to the massive debt load our grandchildren will inherit.

All of this for less than 5% of the original figure.

Oh, sure, some people will spend it on drugs, and maybe kill themselves. That's just Darwinism in a compressed time frame, isn't it? Some people will still manage to burn through it in a month, maybe by gambling, or foolish ventures. Well, that'll just be too bad: there are no do-overs. (On the off chance that anyone's taking this seriously, we should at least make available some kind of 1-hour "How to Not be an Idiot with your Windfall" seminar.)

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We couldn't do any worse than the proposed bailout, which will allow CEOs and other executives to give themselves huge bonuses with this money. There are virtually no restrictions on their handout. I say give the American consumer the same shot. Write to President-Elect Obama and ask him what he thinks of the idea.

Other than cheating the Congresspigs and their lobbying whores out of another big party, I can't see what's wrong with the plan. If it fails, we can still try a $699.7-Billion-with-a-B Bailout, but I sure would rather try it first.