Tuesday, November 11, 2008


I can't remember where I first heard this idea (Chemo Brain! Chemo Brain!),maybe the girls on The View? or maybe I just dreamed it, but I think it's brilliant: Instead of the $700 Billion-with-a-B Bailout for the fatcat Titans of Industry, let's try this: There are just about 300 million Americans, so let's give every American one million dollars. We'll figure out the logistics later.

Here's the reasoning: if you get that money in the hands of consumers, we will pay off our mortgages and car loans, and that should help out the banks. We will buy new cars and lots of consumer goods, and that will help out both retail and manufacturing. We will probably buy some new homes and second homes; that should rescue the housing market. We may even put some into savings! That might ease some of the burden on Social Security. And we won't be adding to the massive debt load our grandchildren will inherit.

All of this for less than 5% of the original figure.

Oh, sure, some people will spend it on drugs, and maybe kill themselves. That's just Darwinism in a compressed time frame, isn't it? Some people will still manage to burn through it in a month, maybe by gambling, or foolish ventures. Well, that'll just be too bad: there are no do-overs. (On the off chance that anyone's taking this seriously, we should at least make available some kind of 1-hour "How to Not be an Idiot with your Windfall" seminar.)

Copyright Chattanooga Times Free Press

We couldn't do any worse than the proposed bailout, which will allow CEOs and other executives to give themselves huge bonuses with this money. There are virtually no restrictions on their handout. I say give the American consumer the same shot. Write to President-Elect Obama and ask him what he thinks of the idea.

Other than cheating the Congresspigs and their lobbying whores out of another big party, I can't see what's wrong with the plan. If it fails, we can still try a $699.7-Billion-with-a-B Bailout, but I sure would rather try it first.


Holly said...

I second that! Hell, I'll even take $150,000. That would pay off my mortgage, car, all debt, the mounting medical debt, and leave me with a couple grand for an all-inclusive vacation for 2, or airfare to visit my friends and family in places other than Cleveland.

La Coot-curacha, you are indeed Brilliant-with-a-B!

s said...

That is so much better than the Lottery, because with your way I would actually WIN, and not have to part with a single dollar.
I like it, I really like it!
I am already mentally spending my money, so please don't let me down. If anybody could accomplish this, you can!! Where do I sign?

La Cootina said...

Yeah, I really think we're on to something here. Since I know several Really Smart People, I'll start grilling them for ideas on how to start the groundswell of support.

Meanwhile, start making plans. And Holly, forget the 150K. It's a MILLION BUCKAROOS, Sis!