Friday, March 13, 2009

Vanity, Yes. Fair? Not So Much... (Part Deux)

Creepy Hair: These girls spend hundreds (thousands?) on their eyewear... and look as though they spend their evenings picking through each other's coiffs for dead bugs. Seriously creepy, crunchy hair. Tame by comparison is the vixen at right, whom I have included just because of these weird mid-forehead bangs. Sis and I have a politically incorrect term for this; for now, I'll just call them Short Bus Bangs. Didn't like them on Audrey Hepburn, didn't like them on Uma Thurman, just don't like 'em.

I've been a Ralph Lauren fan for a long time. He was sort of the voice of sanity in a Calvin-Klein-Gone-Mad kinda world. But it looks like he's done a half-gainer off the deep end here. The gorgeous blond in quasi-safari gear? With a torn sleeve? Pushing a broken-down motorcycle? Okay, believe it or not, I'm still with you. But the gold lamé MC Hammer pants with the crotch at the knee? Nope, you lost me there, Ralphie.

Now I'm really confused. First, I confess I'm not a shoe freak, and I'm especially not a high heel shoe freak. But piercing one's thigh? And "Oops, I forgot to get dressed!"...? Still, I'd call it high art, or a fashion statement, or something sort of valid even if I completely don't get it.

Not so with the Michael Kors statement at right. "Sailing? You betcha! Let me just get my polka dot strapless number and my 5" lucite hooker heels!" It's just nutty. I think you've broken the needle on everyone's gaydar with this one, Mikey.

I have to admit, however, that some of the fashion ads are compelling, even if I don't understand them. And lord knows, those poor fashionistas don't want to go broke trying to design for the likes of me.

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