Sunday, March 29, 2009

The Royal Bucket List

I stumbled on a site called Plinky which offers questions and prompts for bloggers. Some are deep and thought provoking, some are just silly. An interesting recent prompt asked for a five-item "Bucket List."

A lot of people want to achieve some spectacular sporting feat: bungee jumping, slam-dunking a basketball, etc. They want to pet dolphins and see pandas and go on safaris. They want to meet famous people: the Dalai Lama, Michael Jordan, President Obama, etc. I was pleased to see so many people list visiting/living in Europe. I would just like to say: get off your ass and GO, already! I only went once, with Sis, and I wish I'd traveled a lot more. It opens your mind and your heart, and gives you a profound appreciation for things you'd previously taken for granted. Unfortunately, due to health and stamina issues, I don't know if I'm going to be able to do any more international travel. That is one of my very few regrets.

I also don't think I will be learning to play the piano, adopting a child, traveling in outer space, or finding true love, ergo getting me some grandchildren. (I was never desperate to have children, but I've always wanted grandchildren.)

My current Bucket List looks very different than it might have a couple years ago.

  • Become Queen of the USA. I could straighten all this out if you'd just let me abolish Congress.
  • Have a book published by a real publisher. Maybe my unfinished novel (finished, of course), or the children's book series that has been bouncing in my brain for a couple of decades
  • Sell the Villa and settle in to a smaller, peaceful, QUIET little bungalow, preferably in the same 'hood.
  • Own a really fun car, rather than a sensible one. My first choice would be a turqoise and white Nash Metropolitan convertible.
  • Figure out a way to embezzle a few million from a Wall Street crook, and play Robin Hood.
  • Learn how to ride a motorcycle. Yes, a circus-sized, teeny-tiny motorcycle.
  • Be awarded an Honorary Degree, preferably a PhD, just because I'm so damned adorable.
  • Fill my heart with gratitude and forgiveness until there was no room for anything else.
  • Oh, what the heck: Rent the villa next to George Clooney and borrow a cup of hot sex now and then.
I know it's more than five items. Do you think that I have ever, once, followed instructions or done as I was told?


John said...

By the powers invested in me by myself, I hereby grant you an Honorary PHD in Antiquitology for your extraordinary work in the field of Borange-magic.


La Cootina said...

Yaaaayyy! I guess that makes me a Borangologist. Thanks, John. Boy, it's nice to have friends in high places.

It raises an interesting question. I've always imagined that the American familiar address for Queen would be "Queenie" or "Your Queenieship." We'd have to put our own egalitarian slant on it. So, the tricky bit: How does one address a queen who has a doctorate?