Friday, February 13, 2009

It's been 4-5 years since I've experienced general anesthesia. I don't remember being foggy and sleepy for this long. But now that I think of it, that was inpatient surgery, and I was hooked up for several days to my best friend, Mr. Morphine Pump. So I was probably even foggier, I just don't remember it.

An OR nurse told my friend that "you'd be horrified if you saw how they manhandle patients once they're under anesthesia. They toss 'em around like dead carp." I hope that back surgery patients are handled a bit more gently. The soreness is fading very slowly but I think I can already feel some improvement at T-4; not sure yet about T-7. It's likely that I will still have some back issues; I've said all along that my goal was to be able to cut my pain medication, maybe by half, and that seems a reasonable goal.

For more than a year, I've listened to promises and been disappointed every time.

"You'll feel worse during/after the radiation/chemo/transplant/kyphoplasty, but then you'll feel better."
Now, there really is a chance for me to feel better (okay, "less bad," but I'll take it!). I want to be excited about the prospect of spring, about diminished pain and improved mobility. I want to make a plan to start walking again, and maybe do some strengthening exercise. Instead, in 2 weeks, I have to have a conversation with Dr. A about more chemo. But -- as per Chris' suggestion -- I'm going to celebrate my little victory, even though it may be short-term.

Several folks have shared stories about successful post-transplant chemo, and I am truly grateful for that news, and for the encouragement.

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